Life is too short to last long…
You know that quote, “Live in the Moment?” How come it’s so hard to do?
This past week I ventured through Morocco and arrived in a city called Tagounite on the border of Morocco and Algeria. It was 11pm and I was mentally and physically exhausted from the 4 days it took me to get there. A new friend I met online, Abdo, picked me up with motorcycle to carry me and my bags to his camp on the edge of the Sahara.
He showed to my room and informed me that we’d be leaving for the Sahara at 8am the following morning. The room was an open air setting and I remembering looking down at my phone to see the temperature at 106 degrees F; it was now midnight.
I wanted to text someone, I didn’t care who either, but I wanted to hear a familiar voice. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt far from home many times on the trip, but without access to any phone signal or comfort and safety, it was the furthest away I’d felt felt.
Maybe a sip cold water would help calm me down; I asked to put my water in fridge, but they told me that their fridge had broken the day before. Thoughts of doubt and fear swirled in my mind as I reminded myself, “there’s a fine line between experiencing life and pushing your body too far, am I ready for this? Maybe I should make up an excuse to stay back?”
I woke up the next morning sweating from the heat while I laid silently awake. Maybe if I stayed on my mattress they’d forget I was there and leave without me? After listening to everyone eat breakfast for 20 minutes, I decided I had to face it; I had to face my fears.
Fast forward through the camel ride and the 2 oasis’ we stopped at, we arrived at a collection of tents around 6pm outside the largest sand box you’ve ever seen.
Just like the night before, the only escape for the heat was shade, but not even the shade gave you what you were looking for. The breeze was your only alternative, but even that felt like an oxymoron. It provided a different type of warmth, the type of heat you feel when opening an oven in front of your face.
I laid in the corner of the room pretending to take a nap, hoping that the sun would soon set, but that’s when Abdo approached me and said, “it’s time to to go into the dunes.”
The heat had given me a headache and I explained and that I thought it’d be best to stay back. He told me he understood, but that this might be something I wanted to see.
I left the tent and ventured out to the highest dune. We stared into the endless desert while the fear in my mind faded away. I’d spent so much time worrying that I nearly missed the point of the trip; to actually “see” the Sahara.
We watched the sunset before we walked back to our camp where we slept under the stars. From the moment I looked up at the night sky, I knew I’d never see anything quite like it again. There was no light for miles, only stars stretching across our entire universe.
They say the Sahara is a wonder of the world, and the endless sand proved itself worthy, but the collection of stars above me was an even greater sight.
For over an hour I fought to keep my eyes open staring up and whatever might be above me. By the time I closed my eyes, I began thinking of everything my life had consisted of up to this point…
When I woke up the next day, I opened my eyes hoping to find the stars still there, but I only found the sun rising. I walked into the tent and saw another beautiful sight, but it was the same tent from the night before.
Nothing about the tent had changed. It was the exact same setting, but somehow I’d failed to notice the rugs or appreciated the majestic colors. The fear of getting sick, passing out, or getting dehydrated had blocked everything in plain sight. All I could see was fear…
I sat silently in the tent reflecting on thoughts before I’d fallen asleep under the stars the night before. How many moments of my life did I miss out on because I wasn’t mentally there…
I’m not saying it’s easy to be present, or that you can try to be present, but whether you’re 15 or 57, all you have to do is be “here.” Don’t try to be 20 if your 40, and don’t try to be 30 if your 20… There’s a reason we go through each year, because each year is enough…
I feel nostalgic looking back at all of my “memories.” I wish I could go back and feel another day of high school, or have another shot at college soccer. I’d do almost anything to see my younger brother play basketball or have my older brother drive me to school. Those are the moments I wish I could hold on to, but life isn’t about holding on… it’s about letting go.
If you can let go of what your thinking, then you can appreciate the moment as it happens.
If you’re like me, chances are you’ll look back and wish you could go back and feel all those great moments again, but if you do it right, you won’t need to go back, because you’ll know there’s still so much ahead.
~Jimbo