The Send Off: Mac Mendoza Style
Against all odds, we had successfully made it to Split, Croatia. I won’t say we ever doubted ourselves, but there were moments were we all began to lose a little faith… Nevertheless, we were here and one day away from the epic Yacht Week Adventure.
The plan for the night was as follows: get to our hostel, get food, take a nap (Colby and I were really pushing for this one), meet Brandon’s cousin Mac for dinner, try not to party too hard, and wake up to meet our Australian roommates for the next week.
When planning the trip, Brandon and I purposely reserved a suite at the hostel. It was 170 Kuna per person for the night (roughly $25 each or about 20 beers total). Colby had a tough time accepting the thought of perfectly full beers never having a chance to be drank by us. Being the team player that he is, he negotiated 3 airplane shots out of the group collection for himself.
The room consisted of 3 quite comfy beds and one undersized bed (almost floor level) that felt like it was made out of decaying couch cushions; it would have fit a 7 year old child perfectly. Since I was lugging around the heavy gear-filled suitcase up the stairs, I was last to the room. I imagine Brandon, Colby, and Dan must have been conflicted when selecting their beds, but somehow I managed to be the oddball stuck with bed made out of plywood. I tried to form a quick argument to explain why I shouldn’t be stuck with the crappy bed. The best I could come up with was “guys… this bed sucks.” It wasn’t quite convincing enough to make them switch. At this point it barely mattered, I’d almost fallen asleep on the walk over; I could sleep just about anywhere.
White brick walls and orange tiled roofs seemed to be the Croatian themed architecture throughout the city. This stunning landscape stretched down the Dalmatian Coast which was home to hundreds of boats. We grabbed a few fresh fruit smoothies on the street before we sat down for lunch. Colby and I fantasized about the upcoming nap while Brandon and Dan began planning out the plans for the night.
“Guys, we have to meet my cousin for dinner at Pier 3, knowing Mac we’ll be going out for drinks after, so get your game face on. There’s no way that I’m letting him think my friends are lame, we’re going out tonight, get ready to party” ~Brandon
“Just give me a few Vodka Rebulls and I’ll be good to go.” ~Dan
“… … … wait, I thought we were going to take a nap?.”~James
“No naps, ‘aftermovie!'”~Brandon
(The attitude for our trip was summed up as a single word: “Aftermovie.” It originated from our intent to be featured in the “Yacht Week Aftermovie” on youtube. For that dream to come true, we knew we’d have to party our faces off and make the trip as epic as possible. The word would occasionally get yelled out when one of us would hesitate during an opportunity for greatness. Once the word was said, it couldn’t not be avoided. Solidified by a “bro-pact,” we agreed to abide by the word 100%).
“This isn’t kindergarden, we’re adults here. You’re not taking a nap.”~Dan
On the verge of tears, I looked to Brandon for permission to take a nap. On the other hand, Colby begin to perk up at the sound of raging.
“James… sorry buddy, but I need you on this one, ‘Aftermovie’ bro, ‘Aftermovie.”‘ ~Brandon
I held back my tears and looked around at the group. Everyone’s facial expression was uniquely inspiring. Colby looked like an excited puppy dog as if to say, “Come on buddy, we can do it!” Dan’s face was saying, “dude, if you cry I’m going to punch you,” while Brandon was saying “we’re all in together man… when in Rome, right?” We weren’t in Rome, but I couldn’t let the guys down.
“Alright guys… for JimboWeekend, I’ll do it!”~James
Cheering erupted from our table. Everyone congratulated me like I’d been accepted into Harvard.
“Alright, now let’s go get those Vodka Red Bulls!” ~Dan
“Wooo!! Order me two!”~Colby
Brandon could only smile as Colby and Dan became more rowdy. He had the look of a proud parent while he sat across from me. His facial expression can’t be described by words, only the follow youtube clip:
It’s truly amazing what the Human body can do. A few hours earlier, I wasn’t sure if I’d live to see the next day, now I had felt more energized than I’d felt all week. As tired as I was, I was ready to go out. We met up with the Aussie Queen, Olivia, to join us as we walked around the city before dinner.
Calling Split, Croatia a port city would be an understatement, it seemed to be “the” port city in Europe as far as sailing was concerned. Hundreds of boats and countless docks filled the shoreline, ranging from small sailboats to full on mega-yachts. Our crew joked about which boat would likely be ours someday. Time passed as we wandered to the beach and explored the shorefront shops. Before we knew it, our brief port adventure was coming to a close. It was time to meet Brandon’s cousin Mac.
With all the docks and boats we never actually found our meeting spot at Pier 3; we were lost, confused, and now 30 minutes late. Brandon began getting slightly more frantic as he moved further ahead of the group. No one was sure if we’d find Mac.
“So who is this Mac guy and why is here?”~James
“Yeah, like why is he in Croatia?”~Colby
“Dude, didn’t Brandon tell you?!?”~Dan
“Tell us what?”~Colby
“Guys… Mac is a legend. I met him once in Seattle when I was younger, and it was quite possibly the best day of my life. Take ¼ Brad Pitt, ¼ Buddhist Monk, and ½ Bear Grylls… mix them all together, and you’ll get Mac. He’s pretty much a really good-looking old soul who travels the world nonstop. That’s only way I can describe him. I’m not even sure if he works. For all I know he’s a magician.” ~Dan
Just as Dan finished talking, a booming voice behind us spoke:
“Brandon!”~Mac
This guy truly was magical. We were nowhere near pier 3 but I can only assume he used his super human senses to find us.
We walked to “Fife,” a highly recommend Croatian restaurant on the coast, to sit down with Mac and his girlfriend. Dinner began with Mac taking the lead:
“Yes, we’ll need 2 bottles of your best red wine to start.” ~Mac
Colby and I both looked to Dan as if to say, “This guy is the man!”
Dinner began with introductions and small talk; it was clear that Dan’s description was spot on. Although he did have a real job, Mac worked remotely along with his girlfriend, Cassandra. Mac is an online marketing consultant while Cassandra is a writer, editor, and blogger (http://cassandraoverby.com/#). This allowed both of them to travel all over the world while working. That’s when it hit me, these two were my heros!
Up to this point, the best advice I’d ever gotten was “don’t grow up; it’s a trap,” although still pertinent, Mac gave us his top 10 pieces of advice for our next adventure:
“Alright guys, Brandon’s been telling me a lot about this trip. Although I’ve never been on ‘The Yacht Week,’ this is what I’d tell you from my other life experiences.”
He proceed pull the follow note out of his pocket:
(and yes, of course I asked him to sign it so I could keep it. This Mac Mendoza we’re talking about!)
1. Topless Girls:
“Guys, I really don’t need to explain the benefit of this one, but it’s best to encourage girls to get topless at all times during the trip…. trust me, it’s awesome.”~Mac
2. Snack Guy:
“You’ll need to assign someone as the snack and water guy. This is critical to keep the party going. You’re going to be stuck on a boat with beautiful women and lots of alcohol, do you want to be the guy who passes out and misses the party?” ~Mac
“Nope, not me. It’s not happening to me.” ~Colby
“In order to stay alive somebody’s needs to be the snack guy, who’s it going to be?” ~Mac
“Well, hmmm this is a tough one…. how about James, “fear of dehydration,” Burns.” ~Dan
“Yep, for sure me, Brandon and I have 72 packets of pedialyte for the trip. Nobody is dying on my watch.”~James
3. Shots guy:
“Similar to the ‘Snack Guy’ you need a ‘Shot Guy.’ But be careful, the shot guy is always walking a very fine line: not enough and the party will die, too much and everyone dies… who’s going to be the shot guy?”~Mac
“I got this…” ~Colby
“We’re in trouble… Brandon, can you be the shot guy?”~James
“Dude I said I got it James!” ~Colby
4. Captain Squeeze:
“You guys said you’re paying some guy to be your Skipper right? Somebody has to ‘sweet-talk’ him the entire trip. This way when things get out of control, or you want to go off the beaten path, this guy will convince him that everything’s going to be ok. They’ll need to form a bond with the skipper early on. Go buy him a bottle of booze and give it to him when you meet him. He’ll be on your side the moment you set sail. Who’s got this one?” ~Mac
“Alright, Dan, Mr. Businessman, DeVries. That sounds like you. Make it happen dude.” ~James
“Yep, that’s all me. Consider it done.” ~Dan
5. Skinny Dip Night:
“You’re going to be traveling with four beautiful Aussies. Make sure you plan a skinny dipping night, don’t let me down Brandon.” ~Mac
“Mac… come on cuz, have some faith. That one was happening whether you said anything or not.” ~Brandon
6. Cups and TP:
“Not as exciting but you need cups and toilet paper. Just trust me.” ~Mac
7. Champers:
“Since you’re going on a trip of this magnitude, you’ll need to prepare for ‘Champagne Showers.’ Just accept ahead of time that some clothes may be ruined from champagne. I’m telling you now, clothes come and go, but the memory of a ‘Champer’ lasts forever.” ~Mac
“Dibs the ‘Champer’ giver.” ~Colby
8. Other boats:
“You guys are going to need to make as many friends as you can on other boats. Be fun and friendly. You’ll be traveling with this group of boats for an entire week. But above everything else, DO NOT be the person who falls in love on the first day! This adventure is like a marathon, you can’t be getting hitched after the first party. Be smart, and keep your options option. Somebody on this trip could be your future wife… just not yet…” ~Mac
“James, you heard that right? Go easy on the poetry right off the bat…” ~Dan
“Also, don’t start any conflicts to get on people’s bad side. The more friends you make early on, the more epic your trip will be. You don’t want anyone trying to knock you out at a party. It’ll take awhile to get to a hospital via sailboat” ~Mac
“Yeah, that kind of already happened to us. A bouncer tried to knock me out, but in the end, I think we came out victorious.” ~Brandon
“What?!?! That’s awesome Brandon… but seriously, get it together, we can’t have you in a coma during thanksgiving. Grandma would be pissed.” ~Mac
9. Have something cool:
“I’ve realized this traveling all over the world: somebody will have more money or a higher status than you. Don’t let it bring you down, all you need to do is ‘have something cool.’ You’re not millionaires, so don’t act like you are. Go out and be the group that has the most fun. Everyone will want to be around you. Have something different to give, just be you!” ~Mac
10: Drugs:
“Guys… I realize you’re in Europe and this is the trip of a lifetime, but you need to be smart and safe above all. Be aware when you’re drinking, and don’t take drinks from strangers.” ~Mac
“But a free drink, is free… like it’s free booze…” ~Colby
“This isn’t Seattle anymore, it’s Europe, things are different here. Plus, people from other boats may have drugs on the trip, Brandon told me you are all good guys, don’t change that now.”
“We got a saying Mac, “No man left behind, and no drink unfinished,” that’s what we stick to man.” ~James
The dinner ended with more laughs as we got the bill and headed up the street to an outdoor club. We spent the rest of the night there before we began our ultimate adventure: Yacht Week.
Stayed tuned for next update as we sail off into the sunset with 4 Australian women, 4 American Flag Speedos, and 1 common goal: to have the best week of our lives.
~Jimbo