Thankfully no one died, but we still made it to Heaven: The Santorini Chapter
For all those who think Jimboweekend is about funneling beers through pink flamingos and partying until the sun comes up… well you’re partly right, but we’re also sophisticated gentleman.
The night after Brandon almost got KO’ed we kept the tradition alive as we stayed up all night in Ios, Greece. This time we watched the sun rise over Mylopotas Beach. Exhausted but excited, it was time to move on to our next destination: Oia, Santorini in Greece. In true Jimbo Weekend style, we had come within 10 seconds of missing our ferry ride as we left Ios. The gangway was being raised as we ran over to the ferry screaming, “WAITTTTTT.” Thankful they lowered the walkway and held the boat that was carrying over 500 other passengers. It seemed to be a common theme of the trip; no matter how close we came to missing a flight, a connection, or getting punched in the face, we always seemed to have luck on our side (except for Dan; had a few rough parts of the trip, but who cares, we were officially on our way to Santorini).
I don’t believe there’s a wordsmith on the planet that could justify a description of Oia, Santorini… but let me try: imagine a city built from the remains of a volcano that erupted 3,500 years ago. With pure navy colored water flowing through it’s now collapsed center and cavern houses nestled into it’s steep volcanic walls, it stands tall above the ocean. Each cavern is surrounded with beautiful architecture, as peaceful neighbors live next door, above, and below you. A land where gentle cats can be found resting on the thousands of perches through the city. It’s a place where cab drivers don’t use cars, but rather guide you on foot while carrying your luggage through the beautiful maze of a city. The wine tasted better, the air smelt fresher, and every dish of food felt as if it was prepared by the Greek Gods themselves. Was this a dream or fantasy? No, this was Oia, Santorini. Thankfully we had a professional photographer (Dan DeVries: danielpdevries@gmail.com) along with us to capture all of Oia’s essence. But before we get to the beautiful scenic pictures, we have a few stories for you. Enjoy the photo montage below; it encompasses our first day in Santorini. Starting with the cab service, follow the pictures/dialog to witness our adventures first hand. (Follow man with the plaid blue shirt carrying the black suitcase through the pictures. Also note, the black suitcase weighed in at 60+ pounds, we had to get all our sponsorship gear around Europe somehow).
This is where the cab ride begins:
“Guys, Santorini is really beautiful, but I don’t think I’m going to drink tonight. I drank way too much last night” ~Brandon
“Yeah right Brandon…” ~Dan
“… Ok I’ll have just one glass of wine” ~Brandon
“Dude you said that last night!”~James
“… Alright, alright… I’ll go out with you guys tonight”~Brandon
“This feels like an outdoor shopping mall, do we have any extra money to spend” ~ James
“Nah, we gota stay on our budget… let’s stick to the essentials: Beer/alcohol, water, the occasional granola bar, greek salads, and bottle service. We’re not even half way through the trip man!”~Brandon
“You’re right, only the essentials.”~James
“Wait, we accounted for champagne costs right?!? That’s included in the alcohol budget right?” ~Dan
“Yeah it is, but we only planned for 20 bottles of champagne… think that’s enough?” ~Brandon
“That’s a little light, but we’ll survive.”~Dan
“Ok this is now officially the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen, we must be getting close. How do we tell this guy to stop, I need to get a picture.” ~Dan
“I got the new GoPro going, we’ll have to come back to get a good one with your camera. Plus this thing was way too expensive not to use… but I mean I had to upgrade for the trip. The 2 just didn’t cut it anymore”~James
“Dude for sure, that’s why I bought a really nice Sony camera for this trip too. We need to do this trip right man!~Dan
“Yeah good stuff guys, Jimbo Weekend needs it!”~Brandon
“Guys, I see houses… I’m still confused if we’re going to an actual car or a house right now… how do we know this guy again?”~James
“The lady we made the reservation with sent him”~Brandon
“Like, is he a tour guide? Is this part of our stay or something.”~James
“Who knows man, let’s just hope we can find our way out of this place when we have to leave.”~Brandon
“DUDE, do you see this view!!! We’re definitely drinking tonight!!!” ~Brandon
“Should I offer to switch with this guy, he’s been carrying our bag for like 10 minutes.”~Dan
“Yeah… I don’t know about that… I’m exhausted and I’m just carrying my backpack… I mean I realize he’s half the size of us, but he seems to be doing better than us” ~James
“You’re right, I think my liver hurts.”~Brandon
“Surely this guy is lost at this point… Did anyone ask for a map out of here?”~Dan
“Guys can we get a water break, I think I’m cramping up. This guy is walking like 100 miles per hour.”~James
“There’s a 50% chance, that we’re 100% lost…”~Dan
(he had to wait because we were walking to slow)
“This guy is an animal! How much protein do you think he takes in each day?”~James
“Dude, he may be on a strict diet of Greek Salads and Olives.”~Brandon
“Man that sounds delicious.”~Dan
“Yeah we should probably eat soon, I think it’s been like 13 hours since our last meal.”~James
“#AFTERMOVIE James! Don’t wimp out now. We’re fine, just keep walking.”~Brandon
“Everything hurts though. I’m craving a salad.”~James
“Yeah I could totally go for some olives.”~Dan
“… yeah maybe you’re right. Let’s get some drinks when we eat too.”~Brandon
“Martinis for sure!”~Dan
“O man, here we go again.”~James
“Ahh Brandon… What the hell, why didn’t you reserve this place to the left?” ~Dan
“Dan, don’t start with me man, we have the best spot on this cliff!”~Brandon
“But does it have a pool?”~Dan
“No, but still… it’s going to be sick man, just wait. Plus what we would do with a jacuzzi for two? We’re three guys in our mid twenties…”~Brandon
“Dude whatever, it wouldn’t be weird”~Dan
“…. Ok, next time we’ll get the jacuzzi.”~Brandon
(Dan and James high-five)
“Guys I think I’m feeling sick…. the only thing that’s not letting me puke right now is the fact that this place is to beautiful to puke on.”~James
“Good call James, it’s too beautiful here… wait until you get to yacht week… there will be plenty of times to puke”~Brandon
“Ok guys, we’re slowly approaching a cliff.”~Dan
“Are we sure we trust this guy? Like I’m pretty sure I saw this in ‘Taken’ at one point.”~James
“Come on Jimbo, if anything happens I promise Liam Neeson will come rescue us.”~Dan
“Yeah, like with your blog about to go famous and everything, people will be looking for the next Jimbo Weekend update. When they never get an update they’ll know we went missing… we’ll be fine.”~Brandon
“I trust you.”~James
“Ok, guys… we’re officially the last house on this cliff… Does anyone know how to get back… Anyone… anyone??”~Dan
“Dude, we’ll figure it out. I totally memorized everything on the way here.”~Brandon
“Brandon, I feel like you say stuff like that a lot and we end up getting in trouble because of it.”~James
“Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to listen to you anymore.”~Dan
“Yeah, me neither, I’m just going to do the opposite.”~James
“Ok, well you guys are lame… but do you want to hear a good idea?? It looks like there is a path to the ocean right here… let’s go exploring and swim down there later… the trail looks like of sketchy though, I suggest you bring shoes.”~Brandon
“I’m in, but i’m not bringing shoes, that’s a dumb idea. What are we going to do with our shoes when we swim??”~James
“Yep, stupid idea Brandon. You really don’t want to bring shoes down there.”~Dan
“So dumb…”~James
(Dan and James high-five again)
“Guys I think I see cats down there. Is this heaven??” ~James
“No James, It’s Iowa.” ~Brandon
“Boys, welcome home!” ~James
“Alright Brandon, this is incredible… maybe you picked an ok place.”~Dan
“Who has the wine? Let’s drink!” ~Brandon
In true Jimbo Weekend Style we sat on our balcony, exhausted but at peace, drinking wine out of two regular wine glasses, and one slightly larger wine glass. I know we said we’re sophisticated, but we still have room to grow.
Now onto the next leg of the adventure… Brandon’s dumb idea to take shoes down the cliff. Enter pictures:
“Brandon, you really need to think before you talk from now on… we don’t need shoes for this? It’s practically paved.”~Dan
“Well dude, it looks a little worse up a head. I just thought it might be a good idea.”~Brandon
“Yet again, Jimbo and Dan are victorious. You should start listening to Dan and I.”~James
(Less than 2 minutes later)
“Shit James, I think we lost Brandon.”~Dan
“Dude we’re alright, I don’t think this is so bad. I mean worst case it’ll just take us a little longer? Like who needs shoes anyways.”~James
“Yeah dude, we got this.”~Dan
“Alright, man I won’t lie this is kind of tough.”~James
“Yeah dude this sucks, but we’re probably at least half-way, let’s just keep going.”~Dan
“Dude you sure, I can still see the houses… I mean we could just go back…”~James
(Silence from dan….)
“Ah whatever, you’re right, let’s just keep going. We don’t need shoes for this, what was I thinking.”~James
“Yeah, Brandon has no clue what he’s talking about, he just needs to relax.”~Dan
“How’s it look down there man, my feet are kind of starting to hurt a little more.” ~James
“Slightly more difficult.”~Dan
This is when the GoPro stopped. We began to need a little extra help from our hands. Dan and I quietly whimpered for the next 30 minutes as we made our way down the cliff. I imagine locals watching us from up above shaking their heads as they heard the occasional scream from two grown men:
“OUCH, that was a bad one.”
(If one of us was wounded, the other would quickly interject a small bit of positive reinforcement to the victim.)
“Hang in there bud, we’re almost there…. OUCH, Shit dude, ok, that one really really hurt…. that really hurt dude”
“Dude we made it, I see the end”~Dan
(I couldn’t even respond, I was gently sobbing thinking of the way back)
“What took you guys so long, I’ve been down here for like 25 minutes!”~Brandon
“Dude you have no clue”~Dan
(James still whimpering)
“Well dude you guys need to jump in! I just dove off this big concrete thing on film, it’s going to be sick!!!”~Brandon
“I think I’m just going to ice my feet in this cold water… plus I see sea urchins all over the rocks dude. I hear it’s bad news if you step on one.”~James
“Well, that’s why I brought goggles.”~Brandon
“Why didn’t you bring a pair for us…. or tell us to bring some.”~Dan
“Dude, I’m usually the stubborn one, but you two are ridiculous… How’d the bare feet work out down that mountain?”~Brandon
(Silence from James and Dan)
“Hey cheer up guys, why don’t you just use this pair and dive off.”~Brandon
“You may have been right on the shoes, but that sounds like a terrible idea.”~James
“Yeah, how in the world are we going to get back with out stepping on a sea urchin.”~Dan
“Dude, I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. We can switch off or something.”~Brandon
“Nope, this is officially your dumbest idea. Not doing it.”~James
“Can we settle on a selfie? Take a selfie James! Three… two… one… everyone throw your hands up and act like your feet aren’t bleeding…”~Brandon
(If the picture doesn’t say it clearly enough, Dan and I didn’t have the same level of excitement to be there as Brandon did. We spent a total of 10 minutes down by the water before we began our journey back…. just FYI, it was potentially not worth going down without shoes/sandals…)
“Well… I’ll see you guys at the top in an hour. Try to hurry because we have dinner soon”~Brandon
“Alright Jimbo, don’t cry, we’re just going to get in a rhythm and do this, let’s go!”~Dan
“We got this man, one step at a time. Look at this, we’re flying dude, we got a couple good patches coming up too!”~James
“Dude was that the only good patch? This is starting to suck again.”~James
“Well I think going up is easier than going down, but I mean… OUCH DUDEEEE, that one hurt… that one hurt so bad!!!”~Dan
(It was at this point when Dan and I realized the Jimbo Weekend crew is actually quite positive for being repeatedly stuck in such unfortunate but completely justified situations. There weren’t too many words spoken after this point, but Dan and I were connected like two Buddhist monks walking over hot coals; we were determined to make it, but praying to God the whole time)
“How you doing bro?”~James
“I feel great man, heehee”~Dan
(Tongue out while bent over looking at camera pose)
“Yeah me too man! Woooo!”~James
Eventually Dan and I both made it to the top. Brandon had already showered and we both owed him a beer for his genuine attempt to help us. We quickly realized that due to Dan and I’s shenanigans, we we’re already 30 minutes late for our Dinner reservation at the nicest restaurant in all of Oia.
This next part is called: “What it feels like to be a Celebrity.”
Who ever said being fashionably late to an event is cool, was 100% right! Dan, Brandon, and I had to thoroughly medicated ourselves due to the fact that 2 of our 3 pairs of feet were in overall rough shape; this made us nearly 50 minutes late. I can’t lie, we showed up slightly more than buzzed to dinner. It was well past our reservation time but managed to get the last table on top of the roof. Originally we had reserved the best spot in the restaurant but lost it because we were late. We sat in the back corner, furthest from the edge and the sunset. The light from the setting sun was beautiful, but at the peak, the extinguishing outline of the red star was blocked by clouds.
“Well I’m still going to take a picture of the sunset, but it’s just our luck boys.”~Dan
“Yeah, but let’s have this table next to us take our picture while it’s still bright out… Excuse me sir, would you mind taking our picture” ~Brandon (spoken in some ridiculous accent that comes out when he’s in a foreign country as if it helps a non-americans understand his english better)
“We might as well get a pic, we’re pretty much famous, right?”~James
(The man signals three, two, one, and clicks a few pictures)
“Thank you”~Dan
“You’re welcome”~A man with a thick european accent
“I mean, Dan you’re the professional photographer for Jimbo Weekend, Brandon is the Promoter, and I’m the writer. We’re like three pees in a pod.”~James
“Jimbo, I think the saying is two pees in a pod, but we feel you.”~Dan
“You guys know what’s funny though, we’re being kind of outrageous right now, and this entire island is covered with chicks, families, and couples. This isn’t your typical bro destination. We are kind of a big deal to be on this island.”~James
“Yeah dude, if just two of us came here together, it’d be weird… but since it’s three… it’s ok.”~Brandon
(It was at this point that our entire table lost it and laughed uncontrollably. For the next minute or two we all tried to hold back tears as Dan would occasionally punch down on the table out of pure ecstatic joy.)
(For some reason or another the table that just took our picture was seemingly becoming more interested with us. Before they hadn’t looked at us, but it had now turned into quite the stare. The group was a family; 3 girls probably between 12-17 along with their parents. After hearing their father’s accent, we knew they were from somewhere in Europe, but had no idea where)
“Well that sun is really bright, too bad we didn’t bring the sunglasses that our sponsorships got us. A sick Shinesty picture would be killer at this fancy place.”~Brandon
“Psshh why don’t you two just go model them… I mean its like I’m hanging out with James Franco’s little brother and Matt Damon… come on guys…”~Dan
“Haha Franco’s little brother? haha who is he again?”~James
“He’s that dude from the Jump Street movie, right?”~Dan
Haha, what’s his name though.”~James
“Haha yeah that’s him, Dave Franco.”~Brandon
(I bust out laughing)
“Dude, you look just like him.”~James
(Dan bursts out laughing as well, it was obviously a full on heckling assault kind of night)
We continued to eat, laugh, drink, and enjoy life as the day turned to night. With all of our joking and laughing, we barely noticed that the majority of restaurant seemed to be looking in our direction. We we’re all a little confused but played it cool as if our rambunctiousness wasn’t out of control. It quickly hit us that there was something even more beautiful than the setting sun; a perfect full moon that was rising right over our table.
(I thought we said this next part quietly, but Dan and Brandon both confirmed that we loudly stated this to the entire restaurant.)
“Quite ironic guys, our little table in the back has now become the best seat in the house, and everyone is now staring our way… O how the mighty have fallen.”~James
“The tables have turned, hahahaha!”~Brandon
(We exploded into uncontrollable laugher as everyone else stared at our table. Please note that we we’re obviously having a little fun up to this point in our trip, we were on cloud nine… and quite literally there as well. It might as well have been Heaven; it was the perfect dinner, perfect drinks, on the perfect island, with perfect friends… we’re stilll not sure if life can get much better than that exact moment… plus there were cats everywhere.)
We asked for another picture from the european family while enjoying the full moon illuminate the night sky as we polished off the the last of our wine.
We then realized that the mysterious european family was looking at us yet again. But this time the three daughters were intently scanning their phones then peeking their heads up back at our table. We were quite intrigued and decided to investiage the matter. Dan got up to go to the bathroom; he walked down the stairs behind them and studied the content on their phones.
“Man this is the life, we’ll have to plan something so we can come back here when we’re all married men.”~James
“For sure dude, this place is perfect. I’m for sure coming back, this is like a perfect honeymoon spot”~Brandon
“Well I’m glad we’re here together then.”~James
(more and more laugher)
Dan comes back to our table trying to hold back his own laugher, he softens his voice to tell us:
“Dude they think we’re celebrities. The table next to us thinks you two are famous. They had Franco and Matt Damon pulled up on their phones. They were searching through all kinds of celebrity pictures trying to find out who you guys are.”~Dan
Before we got our bill, we puffed our chests out and recited the most memorable Dave Franco and Matt Damon movie quotes we could recall to each other. We left dinner to begin the rest of our adventure in Santorini. We’ll let the pictures tell the rest of the story from here:
I’d argue that there aren’t too many more beautiful places in the world than Santorini, Greece. I urge you to check it out if you ever have the time. Stay tuned for Jimbo Weekend’s next blog post as we party it up in Rome in-between a 12 hour layover.
-Jimbo